50 SHADES OF GREY HAIR
Well, not quite 50. But at this point in my life I have noticed quite a shift in my outlook and, may I just say, about bloody time!
This shift presents itself to me every day, and now I share with you some signs heralding my coming of wisdom, and age.
And it is all alright by me. Bring it on.
- You are walking down the street and you stop in front of a house and declare your admiration for that particular garden.
- You make plans to go out to dinner with friends based on the convenience of car parking.
- You also make the reservation for no later that 7.30? If they cannot get you in until 8pm, you seek an alternative restaurant.
- You make a noise complaint at 10.30pm to the police about your neighbours’ party.
- You watch impatiently as the coffee shop lad uses the till to add up the two coffees you have ordered, then use his fingers to work out the change, when all you want to do is grab him by the ear and pull his face closely to yours while hissing “YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN SCHOOL, DORKFACE….”
- You watch a Reality TV show and agree with yourself that youth is wasted on the young. And boobs are not supposed to look like that.
- When shopping, you always consider the “CARE” label before purchasing. And you avoid linen due to the ironing factor. And anything that needs to be hand washed or dry-cleaned.
- You avoid drinking coffee after 4pm and avoid drinking alcohol after 8.30pm, because it affects the quality of your sleep.
- You discuss with your partner each morning whether you slept well or not.
- The type of car you buy is a result of how economical it is to run, rather than how sexy it makes you feel.
- You only wax in summer.
- Your pants may start to feature the benefits of an elasticised waist and you do not care, because they are extremely comfortable.
- You do not tolerate fools, but you also know not to spend much of your time and wisdom trying to change people’s minds. Especially idiots.
- You learn to accept your appearance and make the most of what you have got.
- You might glance at others who have not chosen to “make the most of what they have got” and have invested in plastic and now look like they have been frozen in a wind tunnel, and feel a bit sorry for them.
- You realise you would rather go without than drink bad wine.
- Ditto men.
- You learn to buy it once, and buy it well. Although this does not count when it comes to shoe sales. All bets are off.
- Speaking of shoe sales, you go to the ECCO shoe sale. This is because you now realise that it is ok to hate the gym and you have taken up walking, because you can check out all of the lovely gardens as you exercise.
- You take a multi. A women’s multi.
- You stop buying magazines because you realise that you are paying for ads and an idealistic representation of how your life should look.
- You enjoy WSFM on the radio because you know all of the songs.
- You care less what other people think of you and swing your arms vigorously as you march to the beat of your own drum.
- And finally, like lamb shanks in the slow cooker, you realise you get better with time.
Did you ever have an epiphany where you realised that you had left your youth behind? How good was it?
MORE ARTICLES BY MRS WOOG
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*About Mrs Woog: “I can be found in the laundry, folding laundry, sorting laundry and dropping off the dry cleaning. I am mum to two boys, boss of my husband and master of a cat and two guinea pigs. Come nightfall, I watch TV while tweeting which drives Mr Woog insane. I like to read cookbooks and eat out. During my waking hours I ferry kids around in the Mazda while drinking takeaway coffees and listening to talkback. I think about going to the gym every day. I used to work in the publishing industry before I realised it was nothing like Elaine Benes from Seinfeld made out like it was. Now I write this blog. And I never get writer’s block. It is a gift I have.”
58 Responses to this article
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Trish July 24, 2012
Brillaint all of them !
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Bec July 24, 2012
holy crap…i could’ve written this!! lol! And i’m yet to hit 40…lol
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Nikki July 24, 2012
You realise you would rather go without than drink bad wine. Word!
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Kelly Exeter July 24, 2012
Love this Mrs Woog! I do believe you nailed it!
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Sydney-sider July 24, 2012
I hope I never get to the point where I wouldn’t drink wine because it was bad! Wine is wine, although I still use it as a way to get inebriated, rather than because I actually enjoy the taste. Love your list Mrs Woog, even though I’m not yet halfway to 50, I actually do most of these things (except for the wine, not drinking after 8.30pm, waxing and ECCO)
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Tracey HB July 24, 2012
Now that I’m 41 I firmly believe that life is too short to drink bad wine and eat crappy bread. It’s also too short to listen to crap music and watch bad tv. Those brain cells are only getting smaller for me now.
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sami July 24, 2012
Oh…. all of these apply to me (except the wine one) and I am 28 :/ what does that mean?
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Erika July 24, 2012
oooooooooooooooh YES! Also – you mostly watch the ABC.
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Erika July 24, 2012
oooooooooooooooh YES! Also – you mostly watch the ABC.
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Helen July 24, 2012
Drinking wine and /or coffee after 8.30pm means you’ll be back and forward to the loo all night.
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Jackwafabwa July 24, 2012
We happily got home from date night at 8.45pm on Saturday night. Gone are the days when we never went out before 9.30pm.
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Robyn S July 24, 2012
We can’t be bothered staying up until midnight on New Years Eve and just say “Happy New Year” when we wake up next day!
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Mrs Woog July 24, 2012
So do we x
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RES July 24, 2012
Spot on Mrs W. Don’t forget…you finally realise that colouring your hair is a waste of good time better spent elsewhere. At least they offer me a seat on the bus now!
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jazzy100 July 24, 2012
Oh Mrs. Woog, I agree with every one of them!
I had you down as my new mentor until I read your bio – Master of a cat!!!! How can I take you seriously when you think you are the master of a cat????? We all know no such being exists.
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Meagan July 24, 2012
Oh Gosh, as per Sami, I’m only 27 and a lot of these apply to me ha ha, but i am NOT ashamed of that one iota!!!
Slapping the truth out as always Mrs Woog. !!
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Lisa Lee July 24, 2012
Haha, reading my diary again Mrs. Woog?
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Lauren July 24, 2012
Mrs Woog – nailed it again. I’ve been feeling so old of late – possibly because I have left my youth behind. And to be honest, do I care? Not a tot!
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Linda July 24, 2012
and on the other side of 50 Mrs Woog- you prefer lunch with your friends to dinner because you don’t like going out into the cold night and you don’t have to worry about getting tired if you are enjoying their company- see lots still left to look foward to!
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Nikki @ Styling You July 24, 2012
Welcome to my world
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gogirl July 24, 2012
LOL Mrs W.
Being on the other side of 50, I’m mostly with you, although can’t go the 7.30 dinner reservation; think the 10.30 noise complaint maybe a little harsh; would need more than coffee after 4pm to disrupt my sleep; and having just bought my first pair of flat shoes, just can’t do the elastic waists (baby steps).
Never would have thought
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Lisa July 24, 2012
Yes Mrs Woog,you do have it nailed,It must be a natural progression to being “mature” I will call it,But you know what, I enjoy this age much more than when I was younger ,i am on the very wrong side of 40 and you know what I have finally grown up and am confident in what I say ,do and eat,and I like the way I look,and I don’t have time for anyone I don’t like!!
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Motherhugger July 24, 2012
Carrying a bag with a bent arm, and the handles on your forearm. As if carrying a basket. I catch myself doing this and feel middle aged.
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bigwords July 24, 2012
I still would rather drink bad wine than not at all. The rest – I hear you!!
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Alysha July 24, 2012
Nodding to everything, except the shoes; I go for book and yarn sales.
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Mum of Adult Kids July 24, 2012
They are not GREYS, they are sparkles!
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Mumabulous July 24, 2012
Whilst this is an extensive list it does not cover all of the upsides to middle age. For me some of the better aspects to aging are;
1. You are no longer obliged to go to nightclubs
2. You can ignore pop culture. For eg you simply do not have to know who 1D are.
3. You can enjoy a good rant.
4. You realise there is more to life than sex and be happier for it.
Conveniently I have written my own blog post outlining these very issues.
http://mum-abulous.com/2012/06/16/the-upside-to-middle-age/ -
Chris July 24, 2012
Love it, so true.
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WENDY GREEN July 24, 2012
Thanks for the reassuring laugh, Mrs Woog! You are spot on!
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Airdre Grant July 24, 2012
let me tell you, it only gets better and being over 50 is extremely liberating. The physical demands (monthly) of the body disappear and are replaced by a new equanimity. No one messes with the older woman. they wouldn’t dare. its great…
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Kim-Marie July 24, 2012
Mrs Woog, both you and I are far too young to experience any of these (yet, strangely, somehow they all resonate with me. Hmmm …
The other thing I find myself doing in shops that you may relate to is automatically adding the words “please” and “thank you” to requests made by shop assistants. For example, the teenager behind the counter says “that’s $150″, sticking her hand out. How hard is it to remember your manners? And how old did I just sound?
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Kim-Marie July 24, 2012
Or my personal favourite – walking out of shops because the music is too loud / too doof doof / too something else hideous.
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mum July 24, 2012
I love being over 60, Ecco shoes and all.
Have a great holiday -
Di July 24, 2012
Have you been following me around?!! You have described me perfectly – and I love it!!
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Di July 24, 2012
Kim-Marie, love your comment on manners. I have started saying ‘your welcome’ to people who don’t say ‘please’, ‘thank you’ or ‘excuse me’. I would never have done that once. Isn’t it great to be a fabulous older woman!
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Benison O'Reilly July 24, 2012
So you’re the person who complained to the police about the noise at my son’s 18th birthday party. I will have my revenge when your boys hit that milestone!
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Gwen July 24, 2012
When you have reached the age when you say about yourself (or someone says it about you) that you “have a fall” rather than “fall over”.
When you complain that restaurants are nearly all “too noisy” to talk in, and the movies are so loud it hurts your ears.
And when you see your mother in the mirror!-
Mrs Woog July 24, 2012
Even better? Suffered a fall! X
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MichelleP July 24, 2012
How about ‘you think Brazilians are people from Brazil and if they’re not you’re not even remotely interested’
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SameliasMum July 24, 2012
Had me laughing the whole way through – because it is all so true!
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RobynMarie July 24, 2012
How about when someone asks you if your workmate who you think is a contemporary is actually your daughter?! I sorta kinda forgot that I got that old. Cheeky upstart. Now that sounds like something a mother would say!
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Sue July 24, 2012
You really make me laugh Mrs.W…..I think you’ll be forgetting all of the above in the next little while ( cheap Eccos over there???) Take good care of my girl please and have THE best time…..all I can say is that town won’t know what’s hit it!!!!
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LJ July 24, 2012
Yes, resonates much.
Yes, dont bother with bad wine and dont bother with crap chocolate! blah to powdery easter eggs and grainy Cadbury’s and home brand chocolate. Make it the good stuff or dont have it all!
We also had the misfortune of a 1D pop up shop appear next door to our office building!
And yes to Gwen – I thought I would be all virtuous and stop colouring my hair until I saw mother in the mirror one morning and made a beeline for the hairdresser’s phone number! -
Sara July 25, 2012
I remember it perfectly – I started getting upset when triple j stopped playing good music. Then I realised that it wasn’t them it was me, and that at 33 I was way out of the youth demographic. It’s all about quality with me, but then I have always been like that
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Jo-Anne July 25, 2012
Sara – I know! Hack @ 5:pm is still good & I love the fact that the young haven’t yet settled for the beige existence …. even Tripple J d.j.’s defect! Robbie Buck’s programme on Radio National is brilliant. – I think also I just seem to have a better “bull -shit” detector! I can’t stand crap (respecting that we are all different) – I would love a slot on “grumpy old women”!
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catecat July 27, 2012
I loved this article. My cousin seemed to sum it up too. While cutting the cake she said ‘turning 50 is great because I no longer have to give a rat’s arse about what anyone thinks about me’. What a relief!
Could I also add ‘you just smile at new ‘bleeding edge’ fashions – because you know how stupid they are going to look in ten years time
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cornishmaid July 27, 2012
I love this artlcle – it’s the discussing if you slept well that did it for me- I hadn’t realised until I read this that my partner and I do this every day – it’s so comfortable!
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Margaret July 28, 2012
Well done Mrs Woog.;
I smile to myself every time I hear the ’50 Shades title’ Makes me think of my washing… in particular, matching up the elusive family sport socks!
As for my now over 50 age. I feel better than ever, just try to keep away from mirrors! Tick all the points on your list proudly, most heartily the last one. -
Roni Jean July 30, 2012
You forgot one Mrs W,
• You no longer feel you have to remain silent when elderly people are being difficult and/or insulting, because you are now one of them and can give as good as you get!
I noticed I got a lot fiestier from 40 onwards, and my attitude has just grown in leaps and bound since then onto 50. It’s quite liberating!
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The Accidental Housewife August 1, 2012
You and me both, my sweet, but I’m turning just 30 next month…
I prefer to think of most of these as markers of good taste and common sense
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Pamela August 2, 2012
oh my gosh, I related, and laughed! Most of it, so true! Especially about the men
But I love being where I’m at now, that’s for sure! Am so glad I have no desire to use cosmetic surgery, and am content to make the most of what I’ve got!
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Pamela August 2, 2012
and yes, am reading ’50 Shades of Grey’ trilogy and that makes me laugh, too!
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amd August 3, 2012
I know this was facetious, but honestly most of it sounds like death, but less interesting.
