MOTHER BASHING. IT’S ALL THE RAGE
If you are a mother, shame on you.
You are doing everything wrong. Probably deliberately. You only have to read the newspapers, or Twitter, or Facebook or the comments at the bottom of articles to realise that mothers are the worst people in the world.
And not only are they the worst people in the world but they refuse to apologise for it.
It’s that kind of shamelessly irresponsible behaviour that makes these lady breeders such a blight on our society.
Here are just a few of the ways that you (yes, you) are ruining Australia:
Not breastfeeding your kids
Formula-fed children grow up to look like Timmy from A Christmas Carol. Their limbs are stunted, their lungs are shrivelled and they catch face cancer if they wear natural fibres. They are rheumy-eyed weaklings who are destined to a life of nothing but murmuring incoherently from the confines of their iron lungs.
Breastfeeding your kids
Breastfed children subconsciously retain the image of suckling on the end of their mother’s boob for the rest of their life. Their brains are pocked with the lustful memories of the brazen hussy who forced her femaleness upon them. This is how serial killers are formed. There should be a national register of breastfeeders so we know where Australia’s future sex pervs are hiding. If you insist on using your filthy funbags to feed your kids, at least do it somewhere appropriate. Breasts should be saved for porn and the Lingerie Football League and I don’t want to see you abusing your child (and my eyes) at the bus stop. Get thee to a rotary dairy, woman!
You put your kids in childcare
We all know this one: “We can’t afford to eat, so I have to go back to work”. Obviously that’s a lie. No-one uses childcare because they can’t afford food, they use it so they can earn more money to buy designer clothes, BMWs and Frappuccinos. And don’t give me that rot about childcare teaching kids how to socialise. ‘Socialise’ is very close to ‘Socialist’ which basically means Communist. While you laze around a pool getting drunk and doing heroin, (that is what ‘working mothers’ really do all day) your kids are being brain-washed by so-called ‘childcare providers’. Childcare is a Communist Plot. When your little Maos grow up, they will move to North Korea, start a nuclear war and kill us all.
You are a stay-at-home mother
Don’t you love Australia? We’re in the middle of THE DEPRESSION and you are sitting at home all day, dangling your toes in a foot spa and watching Dr Phil while the rest of us are working. It’s one thing to be a woman with no ambition but really, refusing to be a Super Mum is just pathetic.
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