orgasm

MRS WOOG AND THE BIG WOOO…OOH

You do know what today is, don’t you?

Yes, it is Thursday the 8th of August. It might be special to particular people for particular reasons, such as birthdays or anniversaries. But did you know that it is also…

INTERNATIONAL FEMALE ORGASM DAY!

orgasm

(Cue champagne cork-popping, crowd roaring, a fly-over followed by a street parade and a somewhat damp towel!)

A whole day, friends, dedicated to the complexities of the female orgasm and all that it involves. And, because I happen to know that Malcolm Turnbull is a huge fan of my column here (Wendy told me, OUTED!) I beseech you, oh, future Prime Minister, Sir, to mention this to your mate Tony in the hope that next year, he might consider making the 8th of August a Public Holiday.

If he indeed is PM… and…um…never been good at diplomacy… anyway…

TODAY there’s a fantastic excuse to spend the day in bed, if ever I have heard one!

(Please note, this is INTERNATIONAL Female Orgasm Day, not to be confused with Australia’s Own NATIONAL Orgasm day, which was celebrated back on the 31st June. Dead set.)

Right now, a thousand orgasm enthusiasts are gathering in San Francisco to attend the largest conference in the world that focuses on the Female Big O. You will find doctors, researchers and regular folk like you and me, all focusing on a trend known as Orgasmic Meditation.

Nicole-DaedoneOrgasmic meditation or OMing is a term coined by Nicole Daedone (right) to signify a mindfulness practice in which the object of meditation is finger to genital contact. 

Nicole Daedone is an expert in Yoga, Kabbalah and Buddhist meditation but to me, Orgasmic Meditation is just a fancy way to justify having a bit of a wank.

According to the group Nicole has founded, named One Taste, practicing Orgasmic Meditation provides the following benefits:

 

orgasm-benefit

So, we already know that getting your rocks off is good for you in a plethora of ways, but I thought I would dig around a bit and come up with 10 interesting facts about The Female Orgasm.

Strap yourselves in, ladies!

  • female-orgamsThe term Orgasm comes from the Greek word ORGASMOS, derived from the word organ. Not the church type organ, the other one.
  • Try as they might, unfortunately an estimated 24% of women just cannot climax. Full stop. Fully bad scenario.
  • For centuries, Doctors prescribed orgasms as an antidote for women suffering from “hysteria” and in many cases performed the necessary “massage” themselves.
  • According to a 2009 University of Kansas Study, a whopping 67% of women have admitted to faking orgasm, which I think is just wrong and gives men a false sense of performance security. STOP THIS PRACTICE NOW! I may start a petition.
  • It takes, on average, 4 minutes for a woman to reach orgasm through masturbation, as opposed to 10-20 minutes via intercourse. Just sayin’…
  • In the 4th Century BC, Hippocrates firmly believed that an orgasm was a sign of an impending baby. If you could not orgasm, your chances of procreation were dramatically decreased.
  • Female orgasms came into the forefront of people’s minds after Alfred Kinsey published the book “Sexual Behaviour of the Human Female” in 1953. He declared that it was OK to have urges if you were a lady, and that YOU WERE NOT GOING CRAZY! Salut Alfred, salut.
  • Some lucky ladies experience orgasm in their sleep. During the Rapid Eye Movement phase of sleep (dreaming sleep) bodily impulses can result in a rush of blood to the nether regions and DISCO! What a way to wake up!
  • But not everyone will be celebrating today. Sufferers of Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder (known as PGAD) can orgasm spontaneously up to 100 times a day, triggered by such mundane things as housework or a vibrating mobile phone in one’s pocket.
  • I just realized that many of the teachers at my kid’s school read this column. Greetings!

So at some stage today, I would like you to stop and have a think about the female orgasm and be thankful –  whether you are giver or a receiver or have a self-service type of situation going on.

How will you be celebrating International Female Orgasm Day?

 

 

MORE STORIES BY MRS WOOG

Nutterly Neighbours

When You Gotta Go…

What’s Your Social Media Type?

I Gotta Get My Shit Together. You?

Homework. Who needs it?

 

mrs woog*About Mrs Woog: “I can be found in the laundry, folding laundry, sorting laundry and dropping off the dry cleaning. I am mum to two boys, boss of my husband and master of a cat and two guinea pigs. Come nightfall, I watch TV while tweeting which drives Mr Woog insane. I like to read cookbooks and eat out. During my waking hours I ferry kids around in the Mazda while drinking takeaway coffees and listening to talkback. I think about going to the gym every day. I used to work in the publishing industry before I realised it was nothing like Elaine Benes from Seinfeld made out like it was. Now I write this blog. And I never get writer’s block. It is a gift I have.” You can follow me on Twitter: @Woogsworld.

 

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29 Comments

  • Reply August 8, 2013

    ro.watson

    O Mrs. Woog, I remember going down to the Applecross Public Library, when I was about 17, 40 years ago to do my own research on orgasm. It was a thankless task back then. Only book on offer was from those U.S sex experts, M. and Co reporting their findings. Now with a plethora of experts and citations, it still largely remains a do it yourself realm though I note a Western Australian Viv. Cass wrote a book “The Elusive Female Orgasm”. Personally I think it has a lot to do with breathing in and out? Cheers, Malcolm.

  • Reply August 8, 2013

    ProudAsPunch

    I’ve been married to my lady for nearly 25 years and am quite chuffed to be able to say that she’s had more orgasms in that time than I have, and not one of them has been of her own doing, if you know what I mean.
    Giving my wife this pleasure is one of the most enjoyable parts of our sex life for me. I love her very much, and that love has always included making her fulfilled in any way that I can. It saddens me when I hear of women who aren’t able to orgasm and all the more maddens me when I hear of men who don’t even bother trying to pleasure their ladies. Both parties are missing out, from my experience!

  • Reply August 8, 2013

    Emmasbrain

    There are currently three Channing Tatum movies running on foxtel, a coincidence? I think not. Happy female Orgasm day!

    • Reply August 8, 2013

      Mrs Woog

      Foxel = Marketing genisus! Have a happy one Emma! x

  • Reply August 8, 2013

    Mumbos

    I only get off on housework when I see my husband doing it (the housework, at my house).

  • Reply August 8, 2013

    Triple Jane

    I’ll have what she’s having…

  • Reply August 8, 2013

    clarem

    That would a pubic holiday, wouldn’t it?

  • Reply August 8, 2013

    The Huntress

    Nice column, Mrs. Woog! I haven’t read the comments yet, but I would love to give a shout out to Betty Dodson and all the wonderful work she has done helping women to achieve orgasm. Now I’m even more excited to be reunited back at uni with my fellow Sexology students tonight, we have something more to celebrate!

  • Reply August 8, 2013

    Pauline

    The day after Patrick dies? IFOD needs to be postponed until all the ladies have recovered!

  • Reply August 8, 2013

    Bored

    as one of the 24% I have no idea what the hype is about, and I will not be ‘celebrating’ the day at all

  • Reply August 8, 2013

    Bermtopia

    Pretty much laughing about the Woogettes’ teachers reading this post.

  • Reply August 8, 2013

    ro.watson

    International Lawn Day.

  • Reply August 8, 2013

    WWRW

    Awesome article. Love the stats. For the Huntress, when you’re next with the sexology students, or for anyone who fancies more O and less bored, http://whatwomenreallywant.com.au is striving to be a new sort of online ‘intimate’ boutique with advice from sex therapists as well as gorgeous products without that ‘eewww tacky’ feel one often experiences in the sex industry. Thank you Mrs Woog for making it mainstream! Also on FB..https://www.facebook.com/pages/What-Women-Really-Want/566101346733422

    • Reply August 8, 2013

      The Huntress

      Thanks for that, WWRW :)

  • Reply August 8, 2013

    Coco

    I notice the post about misbehaving dogs gets 174 comments and this one about female orgasm gets 12. Demonstrates our our passion priorities.

  • Reply August 8, 2013

    norah batty

    Generally women are too busy with a myriad of daily tasks that beset them to think about self-pleasuring BUT on that odd occasion when the idea hits you out of the blue its so much fun to find a quiet corner and do what your body and mind are craving…then its back to the ironing but with just a trace of a secret smirk.

  • Reply August 8, 2013

    ro.watson

    Too busy for life. Try life instead. Hate ironing, well stop it. Called frigid, well have another go with yourself or someone else. Meanwhile, check out how your lawn grows back.

  • Reply August 8, 2013

    Marina

    Maybe women weren’t on here commenting because they were otherwise occupied, I know I was for a while lol!
    Thanks for bringing the day’s significance to our attention Mrs Woog. Love the story and it’s nice to learn the history behind this tremor in our lives.

  • Reply August 8, 2013

    Rhoda

    An excuse to make each other feel good! What could be better.

  • Reply August 8, 2013

    Seana Smith

    I think I will celebrate this momentous event… it’ll take longer than four minutes I expect. Four minutes!!!

  • Reply August 8, 2013

    Susan M.

    Phew… so glad you didn’t ask us to divulge if we were members of Camp 67% or 33%!

  • Reply August 9, 2013

    Janine Pearson

    My husband has declared tomorrow International Blow job Day. Is that allowed?

  • Reply August 9, 2013

    HappyWife

    My husband thought it should be International Female Orgasm WEEK and is happy to help celebrate with me! That’s a win-win.

  • Reply August 10, 2013

    stupid me

    Never ever had an orgasm with a man involved. Was married for 17 years. I think I’m broken :(

  • Reply August 10, 2013

    ro.watson

    Dear sm, I would like to offer you an antidote to your broken bits~ like a suggestion you reframe? A long time ago, it was a discovery for me that feelings and emotions happen in our bodies, and thoughts create feelings and emotions, and vice versa. I gather many people already take such links for granted. I found it a helpful skill to develop awareness of what was going on in my body. Practices like exercise(walking), meditation, yoga, therapy, massage(non-sexual). All the best. Rest easy. Namaste. Peace in your own way..

  • Reply August 10, 2013

    WonderFly

    I’ve had a few lovers (not saying how many) so I can say that it’s surprising how different one man is in bed from another. Some have no sexual imagination, and there’s no sense of them trying to connect in a real way, except through placing his ‘bit’ in the right place. Doesn’t work for me if that’s all it is. Good lovers know what to do, and it’s not dependent upon size. My last lover but one had a very small penis and was wonderful in bed. I sometimes wonder if making love is like horse-riding and a particular form of communication body to body. Some men just ain’t got it, sadly for their women. Having been married doesn’t teach them any great gifts either. I guess the wives just learned to put up with married man sex, or got so bored they avoided it altogether.

  • Reply August 10, 2013

    j

    Wondering where I fit in the statistics. Definitely not in the 67% Definitely not in the 24%. Not PGAD but definitely multiply orgasmic! 4 minutes- that’s time for 2 at least. The whole body and mind has to be involved. Best way to become legless that does not involve alcohol!

  • Reply August 11, 2013

    ro.watson

    Anyway~ I think there is a qualitative difference between an orgasm on your own, by your self and an orgasm with, near, shared, unshared with someone else. The feeling I get when I touch my own arm is different from when someone else touches my arm? Still, there are skills to be learnt alone~ like facing one’s demons and skills to be learnt with others?
    I continue to like that expression~ “polymorphously perverse”~ for all it gives, and all it takes away. And while welcome, an orgasm is not the be all and all of life as we know it. For some reason, that quote, “a thousand journeys and not a single arrival” comes to mind~ because when you are in the right place, at the right time~ how beautiful it is.

  • Reply August 11, 2013

    screamer

    I’ve been with many, many men and yet only a few have been great in bed. Only one man has given me multiple orgasms but I’ve given myself plenty and have had wet dreams too. The in your sleep orgasms. Awesome. Sex is good… right I’m outta here.

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