MRS WOOG AND THE BIG WOOO…OOH
You do know what today is, don’t you?
Yes, it is Thursday the 8th of August. It might be special to particular people for particular reasons, such as birthdays or anniversaries. But did you know that it is also…
INTERNATIONAL FEMALE ORGASM DAY!
(Cue champagne cork-popping, crowd roaring, a fly-over followed by a street parade and a somewhat damp towel!)
A whole day, friends, dedicated to the complexities of the female orgasm and all that it involves. And, because I happen to know that Malcolm Turnbull is a huge fan of my column here (Wendy told me, OUTED!) I beseech you, oh, future Prime Minister, Sir, to mention this to your mate Tony in the hope that next year, he might consider making the 8th of August a Public Holiday.
If he indeed is PM… and…um…never been good at diplomacy… anyway…
TODAY there’s a fantastic excuse to spend the day in bed, if ever I have heard one!
(Please note, this is INTERNATIONAL Female Orgasm Day, not to be confused with Australia’s Own NATIONAL Orgasm day, which was celebrated back on the 31st June. Dead set.)
Right now, a thousand orgasm enthusiasts are gathering in San Francisco to attend the largest conference in the world that focuses on the Female Big O. You will find doctors, researchers and regular folk like you and me, all focusing on a trend known as Orgasmic Meditation.
Orgasmic meditation or OMing is a term coined by Nicole Daedone (right) to signify a mindfulness practice in which the object of meditation is finger to genital contact.
Nicole Daedone is an expert in Yoga, Kabbalah and Buddhist meditation but to me, Orgasmic Meditation is just a fancy way to justify having a bit of a wank.
According to the group Nicole has founded, named One Taste, practicing Orgasmic Meditation provides the following benefits:
So, we already know that getting your rocks off is good for you in a plethora of ways, but I thought I would dig around a bit and come up with 10 interesting facts about The Female Orgasm.
Strap yourselves in, ladies!
- The term Orgasm comes from the Greek word ORGASMOS, derived from the word organ. Not the church type organ, the other one.
- Try as they might, unfortunately an estimated 24% of women just cannot climax. Full stop. Fully bad scenario.
- For centuries, Doctors prescribed orgasms as an antidote for women suffering from “hysteria” and in many cases performed the necessary “massage” themselves.
- According to a 2009 University of Kansas Study, a whopping 67% of women have admitted to faking orgasm, which I think is just wrong and gives men a false sense of performance security. STOP THIS PRACTICE NOW! I may start a petition.
- It takes, on average, 4 minutes for a woman to reach orgasm through masturbation, as opposed to 10-20 minutes via intercourse. Just sayin’…
- In the 4th Century BC, Hippocrates firmly believed that an orgasm was a sign of an impending baby. If you could not orgasm, your chances of procreation were dramatically decreased.
- Female orgasms came into the forefront of people’s minds after Alfred Kinsey published the book “Sexual Behaviour of the Human Female” in 1953. He declared that it was OK to have urges if you were a lady, and that YOU WERE NOT GOING CRAZY! Salut Alfred, salut.
- Some lucky ladies experience orgasm in their sleep. During the Rapid Eye Movement phase of sleep (dreaming sleep) bodily impulses can result in a rush of blood to the nether regions and DISCO! What a way to wake up!
- But not everyone will be celebrating today. Sufferers of Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder (known as PGAD) can orgasm spontaneously up to 100 times a day, triggered by such mundane things as housework or a vibrating mobile phone in one’s pocket.
- I just realized that many of the teachers at my kid’s school read this column. Greetings!
So at some stage today, I would like you to stop and have a think about the female orgasm and be thankful – whether you are giver or a receiver or have a self-service type of situation going on.
How will you be celebrating International Female Orgasm Day?
MORE STORIES BY MRS WOOG
*About Mrs Woog: “I can be found in the laundry, folding laundry, sorting laundry and dropping off the dry cleaning. I am mum to two boys, boss of my husband and master of a cat and two guinea pigs. Come nightfall, I watch TV while tweeting which drives Mr Woog insane. I like to read cookbooks and eat out. During my waking hours I ferry kids around in the Mazda while drinking takeaway coffees and listening to talkback. I think about going to the gym every day. I used to work in the publishing industry before I realised it was nothing like Elaine Benes from Seinfeld made out like it was. Now I write this blog. And I never get writer’s block. It is a gift I have.” You can follow me on Twitter: @Woogsworld.